Kaito's Security Issues
by Altered Path
Summary: What turns out to be a simple task asked by Kaito turns into something else. But will Yuma and Gakupo do anything to make sure no one finds out their secrets? LEMON AND YOAI WARNING! Plus cursing and crude humor...
1. Chapter 1

Yuma

Miku glared daggers sharpened until a single prick would produce a drop of blood at me. I guess that I deserved such a cold stare because of what happened just a few minutes ago. Her usually long teal hair cut exactly like Meiko's and her bluish-green eyes gave me the message that she would kill me when she had the chance. I smirked and then ducked in the same second to avoid braining by an orange. This made a very content thump and squash on the television behind me. Whatever the two of us thought; we both knew that I would have no complain with what came at me.

"Miku, Kaito's gonna be pissed if he finds out that you broke the TV." A deep male voice sounded from the hallway, which opened up to our different rooms. I turned around from my seat at the large dining room table to see Gakupo standing at the entrance to the other room. A man with freakishly long purple hair tied in a ponytail and still wearing his dark purple pajama pants and a shirt that I knew didn't belong to him but he still had. "Wait, Miku what happened to your hair? It's supposed to be long and flowing and in pigtails." He then copied my action of ducking to avoid nearly the same result of braining, this time with one of his eggplants.

"What happened to my hair is this bastard," she paused to throw one of her leeks at me. "Began to think of a stupid idea this involved a pair of scissors and my hair. Then he thought that it would be even funnier to do so while I was sleeping!" Miku kept herself planted in the kitchen that was entirely white except for the stainless steel appliances. In front of her small frame was two bowls piled high with everyone's favorite foods. Miku probably thought that she could blame me for a waste of food, let alone all the money spent on them. She grabbed a bottle of sake from the bowl on her right- or at least that's what I thought it was from the size and shape. Opened it and started to chug it; normally I don't show emotions but I could feel the blood drain from my face as I watched her empty it. I looked to Gakupo for support since, but he had vacated the hallway. That pussy, I turned and she had finished the bottle to the very last drop. Miku was blushing a little from the alcohol and she tested the weight of the bottle.

A voice in the back of my mind told me to run for my life. Miku started to walk toward me, trying to keep her balance with each step. As if when she would take the wrong step, she would fall into a pit. I stood up and did just what the voice told me to do. Running into the nearest room before Miku actually could see which of the several rooms I had hidden. Quickly after I had locked the door, I looked around the room which was apparently blue. I didn't mean like a couple things, I meant floor to ceiling was entirely covered in the color of the evening sky. On the bed in the middle of the room sat a slightly childish looking man with a bright blue scarf that matched his short hair and playful eyes. Wearing matching pajamas with snowflakes and quietly eating ice cream, the one thing that caught my attention was he was looking directly _at _me. As if, he had just expected to see me for an appointment.

"Let me guess, there is a slightly intoxicated Miku Hatsune with a clobbering device ready to kill you. Today must not be your day Yu-chan."Kaito said while eating his ice cream. The man sitting in front of me was barely my senior, yet he creeped me out. This was enough to send me to the moon and back without stopping. I wished to be in another room besides his; behind me, I heard yelling and dragged footsteps pass by the door. Alternatively, maybe this creeper would be better than die young.

"How the fuck did you guess that?" I asked, there was something wrong with this entire situation. I backed up against the door, feeling the cold wood chill my back. Kaito just kept staring at me and eating ice cream.

"Well, I heard what happened from Gaku-kun. He thought you were Miku and hid in my closet. And I think that he can come out now!" The last sentence was directed to the closet were Gakupo emerged, a little less confused than I was. There was still something bugging the back of my mind: how did he know all that even though Gakupo bolted right before she had drunk the entire bottle. Kaito then pulled out something that looked like a remote to a TV and pressed a button. Then a monitor appeared right by the closet with a bunch of pictures on it. However, they were moving; wait they are videos!

In the upper-left corner was Len and Rin in the same bed. A moment later Rin had pushed Len of the bed- kicked would fit the situation better- while he shouted something that sounded like "killer bananas." Next to that, was a raging Miku in front of my bedroom door shouting and cursing while whacking it with the remains of a broken bottle. Then in the other corner appeared a very surprise Luka. That wondered what had happened to the food and the television.

"Kaito Shion, you are a friggin' mad genius to think something like this up." Gakupo then started to have a small nosebleed because under the twins' bedroom was an undressing Luka. She took off her tuna fish covered nightgown that revealed a pair of lacy pink underwear and bra. Then out of her bed (which I hadn't noticed that there was a bulge) tumbled Gumi. All she was wearing was a pair of shorts, a bra, and her favorite pair of goggles that sat on top of her head.

Immediately a barrage of question nearly escaped my mind. Mostly focusing on why Gumi and Luka were in the same room. Let alone the same bed. My nose almost started to bleed like the girly looking man that had moved to my right. Nevertheless, Kaito snapped his fingers and caught our attention.

"Well my two sex craving friends. I like to make sure that nothing comes into the house to start a panic. Not after what happened when Tei came over last time with a cucumber. Len still has nightmares." We all shuddered, not wanting to have that disturbing memory emerge. "Plus it's a bonus to blackmail anyone that won't restock my ice cream. That is off the point, I'll make a deal with the two of you. If you help me go to sleep every night for a week I will give you all the tapes I own of your favored ones." I almost agreed with him, thinking of all the blood I'll lose then Gakupo spoke.

"And what will happen if we don't agree?" Gakupo asked, going into his Kiyoteru impression as I called it. Personally, there was no loopholes I could think of but there was a point in his question.

"I will show everyone what you do in your free time and tell them what you think about them." Yet again, I could feel the blood drain from my face; but at the same time, I blushed. How can two of the opposite occur at the same time? I turned to see how Gakupo had faired from the question: he had no emotion. Maybe he had expected that something like this would happen.

"I accept the terms of agreement." We both said, he smiled and then looked at the monitor to see what was currently happening.

"Miku happens to be passed out right in front of your door Yu-chan. She can't handle alcohol very well so this gives you at least a day before she comes after you. And both of you begin our little agreement tonight." I unlocked the door and walked outside, not wanting to go to my room. How bad could this be?

* * *

Takeshi: We don't own anything except the concept

Natsumi: Damn right you are

Takeshi: No cursing Suna

Natsumi: Nevar *kicks Takeshi in the chest*

Takeshi: *pulls out sword and chases Natsumi* Muahahahahahah


	2. Chapter 2: Sorry About

HELLO PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET! Natsumi is here to apologize about no new chapters...

Considering that we both have had many issues with school and the clubs we attend taking away our free time, there hasn't been anything new save for some stories which we helped make. So when everything is over we shall start writing again!

If things don't really work out, Calypso (our friend) will partner with me to write more. But Takeshi is a very lazy person, and Anbai doesn't help because she is basically an imaginary friend.

Anyway, stay beautiful and I can't wait till we start up again!


End file.
